Did I Beat Cancer?

Today I was in a meeting with an incredible group of wise, supportive women.

At some point, I introduced myself and shared my journey of becoming a health and wellness coach, and my goal to bring compassionate support to people navigating major health challenges, like cancer. I mentioned that I am a two-time breast cancer survivor.

After I finished, someone acknowledged me and said, “You’ve beat cancer twice.!!” The room applauded.

I know she meant well—she wanted to empower me. But it didn’t feel right.

I didn’t beat cancer. I went through the protocol. It was rough. I handled it.

I did my best to support myself through those hard times, which is no small thing. I let myself fully feel my vulnerability—and at times, that was even harder than the treatments.

In many ways, despite recovery, cancer is still present in my life: When I take my daily medication. When I reach for the supplements that support me. When I go for a run and my joints remind me to take it slow. When I listen to a friend share her latest PET-CT results.

I didn’t beat cancer. I’ve learned to let it be part of my life without letting it take over. To live without being pulled into the vortex of anxiety and fear (mostly).

I didn’t beat cancer. But it didn’t beat me either.

I endured. I continue. I am learning to live through it—with grace.