Finding YOUR way

One of the Most Dominant Experiences for Me During Treatment Was the Lack of a Clear Path to Follow

People diagnosed with cancer tend to act from one of two positions: either taking responsibility and actively participating in the treatment process or surrendering to the treatment offered by the medical team as it is. There are quite a few studies showing that engaged patients tend to receive better medical care from their healthcare providers. But even aside from these statistics, for me personally, it was always clear that at every crossroads, I would be the one to ultimately decide where and how I was going—simply because that’s who I am.

The thing is, when you reach a crossroads, the path is not always clear—not even for the doctors.

For example, in my case, the question arose: "Would chemotherapy be effective?" The statistical research data available for my specific condition did not provide a definitive answer. Since chemotherapy can cause long-term side effects, one must always weigh its potential benefits against the possible harm.

What Did I Do?

I studied the topic. I read scientific literature—confusing.

I consulted top doctors. But each had a different opinion, and the overall consensus on chemotherapy was split: 50% for, 50% against.

I spoke with people who had gone through the journey—with and without chemo.

I listened to lectures by experts in natural healing and by specialists in conventional medicine.

To be honest, the diversity of opinions only increased my uncertainty and confusion.

And Then—

I stopped.

I sat down.

I breathed.

I turned inward.

I listened to my body—explored the feeling that arose when I thought about chemotherapy, when I thought about forgoing it.

I discovered that my mind-body preferred to undergo chemotherapy; that I believed in both the treatment process and my body's ability to endure it (and indeed, that’s how it turned out).

At many crossroads during treatment, fundamental questions arise about which path to take. It’s important to remember that there is rarely a single correct way. What works for one case may not necessarily benefit another. Even when statistics seem clear, they only indicate what is true for most cases—not necessarily for your unique case. Often, even in hindsight, it’s impossible to know if we made the "right" choice. Within this field of uncertainty, we must find our own personal way.

That’s why, especially in moments of confusion, it is crucial to create a space for inner listening and to cultivate it. Sometimes, answers will emerge. Sometimes, we will still feel uncertain, but at least we will know that just as we have rationally examined the pros and cons, we have also intuitively explored our inner perspectives.

By the way, studies show that decision-making in complex matters is improved when we decide based on "gut feelings"—but only after we have been exposed to all relevant information. That’s why it’s important to give weight and respect to all aspects of the decision-making process, including the more diffuse elements—such as intuition.

So, when confusion overwhelms you—breathe deeply. Stop and turn inward.

I would love to hear how you navigated crossroads in your treatment journey. What tools were effective for you?

Reference: [1] On Making the Right Choice: The Deliberation-Without-Attention Effect, Science 311, 1005 (2006); Ap Dijksterhuis, et al.

4o